Rejection: A Rite of Passage

Before making my first short story submission to a major market, many writers told me to expect rejection and be happy if you get any feedback. So I jumped into the rat race market ready for anything, but in the back of my head I hoped for the odds-busting far-out possibility of my story being accepted the first time. Of course, that far out possibility never happened, and I received the slight sting of a form letter rejection. The response was quick enough to believe that it never made it past the first read slush pile.

Expected, but still disappointing. And so I pressed on to submit to the next big market, not missing a beat. If I get feedback the next time, then I’ll look to put my story through the revision grinder again. Yes, again. Before submission, it was workshopped multiple times. But that’s the name of the game. At least, that’s what I was told.

I reported my first rejection experience to multiple social writing platforms: my writing group, Facebook groups, and Twitter. And I received warm virtual hugs and love from the experienced and not-so-experienced members of the writing community. The advice and encouragement was wise, sound, confirming, and affirming. I had successfully stepped into a new world of writing.

To create an official record of the feedback, this article lists the top words of wisdom to keep as I venture forth on this new exciting journey of becoming a published author. Here they are:

• “Don’t second guess. It’s okay. Keep going.” I really needed to hear this. I was too quick to devalue my story. If you don’t hear anything bad, then don’t assume anything bad. Just move on.
• “Form rejections are the standard. Get used to them. Getting personalized rejections is a big step forward, and means you are improving.” And I so look forward to feedback. I’ll continue to share with others between submissions. Just in case additional eyes catch something or suggest something that resonates with me.
• “I used to run a very small online journal and it would have been extremely difficult to give personalised feedback to every submission. Also one of the nicest/toughest things about the submission process is that it’s usually just a matter of personal taste.” It was great to hear this from someone who’s been a publisher. I know everybody won’t like my story, and my style may only connect with particular audiences. Finding that audience is the hustle.
• “Keep your hope and determination strong. Don’t give up.” This is the most numerous and consistent advice! Don’t give up. So simple and so important. I’m looking forward to many more rejections, but I keep in mind that it only takes one acceptance for each story I submit. That one cancels out every rejection.
• “That’s the spirit! Try again. And again. I wish I hadn’t let myself get so discouraged when I was starting out — rejections are all part of the process. Acceptance does not equal “a great story”, any more than rejection equals “a crappy story”. There are SO many factors to rejections: It could be the quota is full up, it’s too long, too short, they already have a story about werewolves for the next issue, etc. etc. etc.” This is an important reminder for every writer. I will keep submitting until my story drops at the right time. If it never does, then I will add it to my own self-published anthology. Never give up! Do what it takes to make it happen for yourself.
• “That story has a lot of potential. Submit it again, or maybe workshop it a little more. It’s rare for one of my stories to be accepted that hasn’t been workshopped at least twice and usually three or more times. Keep going!” My writing circle is an ongoing source of encouragement. If at all possible, try not to write in a bubble (except when actually writing, of course). Find a group you can trust to give you honest feedback and steady support. There are virtual groups, face-to-face groups, and dozens of communities. Sources I use include Meetup, Scribophile, Facebook, and many others.
• “Turn it around and send it back out. I’ve collected about 100 rejections off of 10 shorts in the past three years or so, sold 2, got one waiting on a thumbs up or down on a rewrite request and the other 7 are still looking for a home. Got a fresh rejection on one this morning as a matter of fact. Just don’t give up and never take a rejection personal!” Hearing another writer’s experience is both humbling and educational. You don’t feel alone in your struggle and grind, and you know there are those who have been in your shoes and they are still pushing on. If this was a race, it would be a long distance contest of endurance. You can be an extremely gifted and talented writer, and the reality of rejection and need for perseverance could shatter your potential. You could also be a hardworking amateur that learns to master the craft over years, and find sweet success.
• “I got my first one at the beginning of September. It feels surreal. Like disappointing but makes it all feel real!” I’m not an anomaly. There are others who are experiencing the same as I. Maybe one day, we’ll all meet at some conference and share our similar paths over coffee.
• “265 (or so) and counting…you’ll get used to it, but unfortunately a number of them will continue to sting.” If I had been in any way unsure about the work that goes into being a creative writer, this is a solid reminder that success won’t come easy. So after I finish this blog post, I’m jumping back in the grind.
• “The trick is to always have things out, always put aside time for re-editing and re-reading things, and always keep a full record of everything. And perhaps most importantly in this environment: Submission Grinder is the best tool. I never got a sale until I used it. I’ve even noticed award winners and bestsellers using it.” This is a good comment to end this post on. I received a lot more messages of encouragement and advice, and perhaps I will share them in another post. Currently, my goal is to have a bunch of stories out in the market. Like sending ravens throughout the kingdom and hoping for positive return messages. Keeping track of all those ravens can be hardworking without the proper tools. Submission Grinder is a fantastic free resource that I definitely recommend. If you’re willing to dish out a few bucks a month, I would also recommend Duotrope. Both came highly recommended from professionals writers and they have proven a godsend for myself as well.
  

Hopefully, this post will be an encouragement to others as the messages I received encouraged me. Thanks for reading and happy writing!

AG